Can we really have it all?

Career, relationship, family, friendships, freedom to travel? I recently got asked, is it possible to have both a relationship and a career and not have to compromise on either?

I believe you can have both, but not without some element of compromise or understanding.

My partner and I spend a huge amount of time apart due to my career. I’m out of the country more than I am in it and often with huge time differences adding to the situation.

But do I really have it all?

I think I do for now. Prior to embarking on the career that I have, it was important to have a very open and honest conversation around what would be involved and more importantly, WHY I wanted to do it. Most people miss out highlighting the why in a positive way. Sharing why you want to do something will help your partner understand your thinking, and encourage empathy between you both. It doesn’t necessarily mean they’ll like it straight away, but the why allows them to reason in both the logical and emotional parts of their brain and will encourage rational thinking.

That’s my first recommendation, be clear on the why and be prepared to share this. If your desires and dreams will impact those around you, you sometimes have to be prepared to work a little harder to take them on the journey with you. Dragging them along kicking and screaming will only cause resentment.

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My second recommendation: set time expectations. It may be that you agree that this is something you’ll do for 6 months, a year or 5, whatever it may be, set a goal post and agree to re-assess together at that point. This does not mean you give up on your goals, your career or your family at this stage. It simply means that together you will discuss how to continue moving forward.

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You only get to live this life once, I personally feel it’s important to strive to achieve all that you want to achieve during your time on earth. If you’re unsure on what it is you really want, complete this exercise to help you determine the answers.

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I work hard at all those things that are important to me in my life, and getting the balance can sometimes be tricky but it is doable. I believe a relationship is a partnership that allows each other to grow. If I felt I didn’t have that freedom to grow personally I would struggle to feel content.

Get clear on what it is you want and WHY. Be prepared to manage expectations and give some time for all involved to digest any changes on their part. Stay true to yourself and your dreams.

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Love, Nicole.